This is Not Normal- Welcome to a New Year

 We made it another trip around the sun! I haven't quite figured out what that's going to mean for us this year, but this is not normal and we aren't gonna do this again for a third year. A third year of my kids wilting away inside the house because our idiot governor has said we have to wear masks inside and outside, we'll be fined for gathering in places, and there is no fun to be had EVER! There have been so many changes in life, for so many of us, that I thought that it was time to return to One Cheap Mother, largely because I've had to learn to be REAL CHEAP and thought maybe it could be helpful to some of y'all too. 

In trying to keep my head afloat the last two years, I've come to realize that writing helped keep me somewhat grounded. It helped me to get shit out of my head so that I don't have to make space for it in the long list of other things that still have to be dealt with, something that will constantly be a reminder as it loops through in my mental video of my check list. And if I'm being really real, writing things down gives me the space to work things out in my head and make sense of things, not that they always make sense, and be honest with whatever scary issue is at hand. Not to mention the actual remembering part. 

Like many of you, my main income, which has always come from doing street fairs, bazaars, and farmer's markets primarily as well as my website, were dashed with the unavailability of public gatherings. I feel like I've lived a constant episode of "Friends" when Ross, Rachel, and Chandler are trying to move the couch up the stairs. I have pivoted so many times the last couple years, between how to make money, how to become a teacher, how to make my special needs kids keep masks on, how to get school to respect their special needs in regard to their abilities in what they can do in school that isn't  at their grade level, getting my car registered, even some of the simplest things that you wouldn't think of have become a HUGE complication. So many changes- especially to my income and how I'm able to earn it, that like many, I often wonder now I'm going to make ends meet, which bills I can eliminate, or pay later if I pay it late, it's a dumpster fire. 

The last couple years I've also learned a lot about myself, my kids, and our likes and dislikes. We've grown as people- as one hopes to when you're forced to spend immense time with yourself when you're not used to. We learned what matters most to our hearts, that when your houseplants die, sometimes you can revive them, and that not everyone that we thought were friends, were only acquaintances that wanted to feel a bit more important or better people to us than they truly were. 

So, to say that I've learned to live cheaper than I was before, is the understatement of a century. I've learned to love deeper, and bigger, and the love you get isn't always equal to the love you give- and it's okay to be disappointed with that. "No" should be your favorite word and you should use it often. And that just because you're broke doesn't mean that you still can't have fun. I've learned to accept that I AM a hot mess. But I'm a fun hot mess, and I'll teach you to be a fun hot mess, too.

Dear Friends Without Children

Dear Friends Without Children,

   While I love you all dearly, having children has changed my life, as I'm sure you can imagine! Some of this for the better, some of it not. Children have blessed me in the most unimaginable way possible, however, I am still envious of you. Let me give you some examples.

5 Reasons You SHOULD Talk to Your Kids About YOUR Finances

Today, I had to tell Drama Queen that he wasn't able to go to camp today. Not because of a bad attitude, or I didn't want to take him. I had to tell him not today because I don't have any money to put gas in the truck and get him to camp just to have to drive out there again and pick him up. It ended up being a whole conversation of his begging me and being in a tailwind state over the fact that he wasn't going to get to do something that he wanted to. I didn't tell him no completely, just not today because everyone is sick. This upset led me to thinking about finances, and how it is important for everyone to be on the same page when it comes to money that comes into the house. Including your children. Here are 5 reasons that you should talk to your kids about your finances.

1. Allowances-

While some people give their children allowances, for others, it's just not feasible. In our house, we don't give allowances because everyone that lives in my house is part of the family. Everyone has to do their share in keeping our space clean and helping around the house. I don't feel that my children should be making money for doing something that they should be doing anyway. 

2. Savings-

It's not an uncommon thing for a child to think that we are made of money, so they think they should be able to do whatever they want. They see us go to the grocery store and use our debit cards, feed a meter with change, use cash to purchase from the Girl Scouts out in the front of the store. Of course this makes us seem like we have plenty of money, but we're broke. Some of us have more bills than money, other of us rely on our overdraft protection to make sure that our children will eat. Most of us can't afford a decent savings, but we try. Knowing your finances and learning to save are important pieces of adulthood. What little extra we manage to scrounge up,  we try to save for a fun rainy day activity, or for our emergency fund, which, sadly is having it's own emergency.

3. Avoid Disappointment and Entitlement-

Let me tell you, taking my kids to the store is a friggin NIGHTMARE. They ask for everything, I tell them no. They ask again, but this time for more. To avoid disappointment or a feeling of entitlement that many children have, tell them no. No will become your favorite, most used word. While your child may still be a bit upset over not getting a new toy or a special treat, knowing the expectations going into the store will help alleviate some of the "can I have," and the whining. 

4. Preferred Activities-

This is the one that always gets me. We've been planning a trip to Disneyland soon. My kids have never been to Disneyland, therefore they will lose their minds when we finally make it there. However, the more money doled out for shoes, clothes, snacks, toys, and other expensive activities they want to do, the longer it's going to take to make it happen. 

5. Money Management-

How are kids supposed to learn about money, making smart decisions, and bills, if their parents never talk to them about money? When I graduated from high school, I had no idea how to be an adult, but there I was, expected to know it. Here's the thing, There were no classes that taught money management, or basic adulting 101. Kids are often just shoved into the world to figure it out themselves, and now, most are entering the professional world with mountains of debt, the kind of debt that a good job is only going to put a dent in. 

If parents don't talk to their children about money, managing a budget, how to save, write a check, or even the simplest thing-- comparison shop, you're setting them up for failure. And potentially ensuring that they live in their childhood bedroom for the rest of your life. 

I know that discussing money with your children is hard. What's harder is to constantly have to tell the kids that it's not in the budget, there is no money for that, or many other money related things that aren't pleasant. Like politics and religion, the less we talk about it, the worse the problem becomes. Overspending is a serious issue for many, including our president, Annoying Orange, whose currently set to borrow over $1 TRILLION dollars this fiscal year, the most money ever spent in a single year during a presidency. Don't let the kids turn into the next generation of Trumps. Teach them financial responsibility by starting at home. Perhaps help them make their own budget, or allow them to help with some of the planning.