7 Tips on Getting By Abundantly From the Always Poor

Well, I'm just gonna come out and say it- that pandemic was some grade-A horse shit. Not only did it leave our global economic standing worse off than it was before, but nothing was ever resolved- it was just decided that one day we'd be over it cuz it had gone on for so long. Like most everyone, I, for sure, was left off worse than I was before financially. I am what you call generationally poor. That means that I have been poor my entire life, I was born into poverty, and so were my parents, grandparents, and my great-grandparents for as long as my family history can be traced. I know how to be poor because my family always has been well below the poverty line, but this new type of "survival poverty" is a trip. 

It's hard to rub two nickels together when you don't even have a penny to your name. For many areas all over the country, pandemic recovery never happened, the greedy bastards in charge just decided they were done with it and washed their hands of it all and told everyone to go back to work. I am fortunate to live in a more progressive part of the country than that (I'm looking at you, Florida), but it doesn't mean that it's not been a struggle just to have the same level of comfort, food, anything really that we had beforehand, because the west coast is more affluent. Here are seven tips on getting by in this post-pandemic era that may help you live a more comfortable life. Many of these tips date back to the dust bowl, so if they sound familiar- welcome to the party.

1. Grow your own food

Sounds pretty self-explanatory, right? That's because it is. A single seed from a cucumber can grow a whole plant that will provide you with enough for the entire summer. Why spend $0.68/ lb. on that organic tomato that might have actually been grown organically, when you can buy a packet of seeds for the same price and have a mini crop to share with your neighbors? Does it take longer? Yes. Will you get more from it? Absolutely yes. And it will taste absolutely delicious having the satisfaction of being the little farmer you never thought you could. For more awesome tips on gardening and reducing food waste by repurposing plant life and other recycleables- check out Creative_Explained on Instagram, Tiktok or his other social media platforms. (I believe he has a book out now too.)

2. Know Your Neighbors

I know you're probably reading this and thinking that I'm being an idiot by saying that knowing my neighbors is important to overall wellness and wealth, so let me explain. 

I work in my garage because my machines are really loud and my neighbors and family don't want to hear three embroidery machines pounding out the angry sounds of a design literally 15 hours a day. I don't blame them- I wear headphones so I don't have to listen to it while I work all day. So, when I say that my neighbors bless me with peace of mind when they knock on my door to let me know my garage was not locked properly, or that someone was looking for me in my workspace- it makes a difference. it makes a difference when my neighbors come to me to hem their daughter's dresses, and they pay me to sew on their son's scout badges instead of having someone else do it.

Knowing my neighbors has meant that I can call my neighbor across the street and say, "I'm out of creamer, let's have coffee," or I'm able to help my neighbor  at the end of the block by giving her all the snacky foods my kids decided they were "over," so she keeps an eye out for them while they are at the playground below her balcony so I can have 5 minutes of quiet. Know your neighbors and it turns to abundance. Knowing my neighbors has also allowed me to barter for things that I or my family needs instead of having to pull cash from somewhere it doesn't exist. 

3. Accept all the help offered

I know that it takes away a lot of your pride to have to tell someone that you need help, have to admit defeat, or feel like you can't do something because you can't do it alone. It's a lot to consider, and it's also really unhealthy, toxic thinking. Humans aren't designed to be solitary creatures. Not every task is meant to be done alone. In fact, you learn better and often work harder when in groups, it's called body doubling. If you have ADHD like me, sometimes it's the only way that anything gets done. When you accept help, the task is halved. 

Accepting help should be something that you are seeking to do in all areas of life too. Accept your neighbor's veggie basket, apply for SNAP benefits even if you only qualify for $14 a month. Sometimes taking the small things, no matter how small, make a huge difference in other things as well, so count every blessing. 

4. Seek Benefits

Now, I'm not telling you that you should be out trying to game the system and get whatever you can so you don't have to work. It is HARD WORK to be poor. It adds tax. But if there is a benefit available to you, that you qualify for, take it. You may only qualify for $18 in SNAP food benefits a month, but that also means that your kids qualify for free and reduced lunch at school (more savings), You also would qualify for free internet, phone service, and possibly a cheap ass phone too, (tons more savings) just because you're poor. Life has demanded that these are staple things in 2023 and if you can't afford them, there is a way to get ahold of them. First start by applying at your local health and human services department. These benefits aren't just for the elderly, or those with kids. If you are homeless, poverty level poor, and a slew of other reasons, you qualify for many things. 

Keep in mind, benefits aren't a free pass for anything. Yes, you can take your food card to the grocery store and load up on steak and potatoes, but whatever the monthly benefit you receive is, it is always only a percentage of the average cost to feed a person for a month. I know my fat ass isn't eating hardly a thing on $3.24 a day. In order to get benefits, most places have work requirements; full time work, kids, income limits, and age restrictions depending on the things that you're looking for. Many benefits, like housing, have long wait lists or they run on a lottery system. If this is the case, it is up to you to be paying attention, and making sure your information is always current. They have too many people waiting to give you time to look up stuff or not be on top of it.

5. Discount stores are your friend

I know that we all wish we could be shopping at the Nordstrom, or that Trader Joe's that just opened up, but we don't have that kind of money. Instead, we shop at places like Ross, Grocery Outlet (or Gross-Out as we used to call it in college), Dollar Tree, and 5 Below. Now that many stores are raising their prices because of inflation, many of these big box stores are finding that less people want to shop there. When this happens their extras that the warehouse isn't taking back goes to places like discount shops to resell. 

Often times, places like Dollar Tree and Ross are given overstock of things from other local stores because they don't have room for it, it's out of season, not $100 perfect, so they sell it at discount stores just to off load shit and recoup some of their costs. Check out these places before you go to Walmart, the mall, or wherever. You could be saving yourself some serious money just by being patient. Have fun thrifting and bargain hunting, you might be surprised at some of the things you find on your searches. 

Also, don't be surprised to find that you've all the sudden become a hoarder because of discount stores. When you don't have a lot of money, it's important to grab a few staple things or a couple extras when you know you have a couple extra dollars. This often times leads to a pile of notebooks here, a season's worth of tissues there. Things add up, they take up space, so make sure whatever you are allowing into your space will get used. Just because there's a coupon for something doesn't mean you have to get it, even if it's a great deal, if it's something you're never going to use. 

6. The one week list

As I said before, I have ADHD and often times it devolves really quickly into "oh, I should check Amazon for that," and then the next thing you know I've overspent and my cart is full again because I was following the dopamine. I now have a one week list I've started on Amazon, but you could easily write it out, or make one wherever you like to shop. It's basically a wishlist but whatever is on it, has to stay there for a week before you purchase it. Any time I'm dopimining on Amazon, I add everything to my one week list and then leave it there. In a week I can go back and look what I put on it. More often than not, I don't remember what I wanted something for or it no longer interests me. If I still hold an interest in something on the list after a week, then I can have it. It then becomes it's own reward for waiting. 

Of course there are exceptions to this rule, if it something that you would normally purchase- soap, food, business items (unless we're talking about big expenses) don't qualify as things to be on the list. That second set of $200 colored pencils that you want, does.

7.Give abundantly

You know the old saying, you reap what you sow? It is true. Any time you choose to give abundantly, it comes back to you ten fold. There are so many ways that you can give that most people take for granted. They don't take pause to think about all the ways they can give and the things they have to offer to their neighbors, community, family. If I teach my 18 year old to drive, the end result is that she will be able to drive herself to appointments (which is a huge time saver for me since there is a 5 year age gap to her closest sibling). If I go hang out at the senior center for a few hours, I'm gifting someone my time but I'm gaining their wisdom in whatever they choose to share with me. People remember the givers. Your karma will repay you abundantly if you always remember to give. 

8. Don't be afraid to job hop

I know that they say that job stability is supposed to be some magical key to success, but let me just say that that is not always true. I could be like my mom who worked for a publicly owned company for over two decades and not make any more than the new hires making current minimum wage. Did it pay all the bills? No. Did it keep food on the table? Also no, not without the help of SNAP benefits. Did my mom have job stability in a job that was so menial nobody else wanted to do it? Yes. Did it do anything for her? Also No. She was fired by a new millennial manager that came in from corporate. 

If your job isn't suiting you, don't stay. If your boss is going to be rude, belittle you, not pay you fairly- Bye Felicia. Ain't nobody got time for that shit. Walk your ass out and find something better. Jobs are a dime a dozen these days, and happiness is worth more than your paycheck. 

What have you been doing to live your life abundantly even when you're broke?

How To Budget When You Have Nothing- Tips On How To Get By From The 'Old Poor'

Look, there is not a single person that understands more than I do what it means to be driving that struggle bus straight off the damn cliff. I've been a person with nothing for as long as I can remember. My existence feels like it should be government subsidized due to a fun thing called generational poverty. It's hard to climb those rungs of the ladder when you have no tools to climb, you don't even have a damn ladder! *Sigh* to say I am nothing more than an average American that didn't make enough money to survive before covid shut the world down and am in a worse plan than I was before covid, would be on par with over 85% of America right now. This bit of info is for you. 

Right now, I'm a mom sitting in her work room, trying to avoid the man person and the three kids with omicron waiting for the barking coughs to subside and the scratchy screams of "more Sprite," and "He looked at my stuffy" from the quarantine room, attempting to drink my coffee while it's still hot. It's been a long hard, road for many of us, and with today's covid news, for me, that will mean cancelling eight appointments this week between four people that we'll have to reschedule for months down the road, it means an endless cycle of cleaning, and making food that nobody is going to eat because they don't feel well, their throat hurts, and nothing tastes good. If you are like me, and you don't have two nickels to rub together- much less pennies to pinch now that the child tax credit has ended and the price of everything has gone up, you're probably scrambling to make things work out so that you can breathe some. I'm a firm believer that you we have to live with the circumstances we're dealt with. I've been poor forever. I'm old poor and I've learned a thing or two that I think have sincerely helped me to get by in this time that, no doubt, has also left me in struggle, but possibly less so than some I know. So, here's some tips from the old poor that will hopefully help you out some. 

1. Put It On Your Credit Card-

I know that this sounds like bad advise, and it possibly is. I'm offering poor people survivor advise here, not great advise that leads you to become the next millionaire. But generally, as long as you can stick to two basic rules then putting your bills on a credit card will actually help to build your credit and help keep your bank account in balance. If you're like me and you can't stand to wait for things to clear the bank because it takes so long due to holidays, weekends, end of the day, 700th transaction of the year, whatever, then putting all the monthly bills on a credit card and paying the balance when it's due is where it's at. Not only can you set them up to auto-renew each month without having to worry when it's going to pull from your account, but auto-pay features usually lower your bill by a few bucks. For instance- T-Mobile gives you a $5 rebate if you enroll in their autopay. The money in the bank is going to be whatever is in there because you're not waiting for bills to pull from the account. As long as you pay the balance of your credit card off each month, this will help to keep your bank account, your bills, and your credit in good standing. 

2. Apply For All The Assistance-

Consider this, if our government hadn't chosen quarantines, lockdowns, and school closures would you be in the position that you're in now? Likely not. So, when your local, state, and federal governments has failed you multiple times over, why shouldn't they be responsible for helping you 

and yours survive when you can't send your kids to school because they have to quarantine, or you can't work because your building is shut down again, or you did go to work and now you have covid (possibly again)? Apply for everything. Use whatever you can that will help you stay fed, housed, clothed, whatever you need. Now, let me preface by saying that not all assistance is easy to get on. Not all assistance is worth having, and it's definitely a fine, hard line to stay on, but if it helps you make ends meet and gets you by in the worst of times then it's worth it. Some of the most important assistance programs that I've found the most beneficial in my lifetime have been The Lifeline Program that offers internet or phone service to low-income households, SNAP Benefits, helping families to get food in their home and the National School Lunch Program that your child qualifies for if you are receiving SNAP benefits. Many other programs like housing assistance can be up to a ten year long wait. 

3. Utilize Your Library-

Many libraries have programs like Arts for All that allow you to use their yearly passes to things like local art museums, zoos, and whatever else your city has to offer. Just because you're poor doesn't mean that you can't still be entertained. Don't forget the library has many expanded services, too, unlike when we were kids. They usually have DVD or audiobook rentals if Netflix is out of the budget right now. You can rent computer use at the library as well as some offer laptop rentals through their tech departments. This is great if you're a student. Speaking of being a student- ask your librarian about textbook rentals. This is the cheapest option for those books you're not going to likely want to keep anyway. Some of th0se books cost hundreds of dollars!

Ask about other services your library offers. Each spring, many Oregon libraries hold a seed swap. This is great if you have interest in growing your own fruits or veggies- which you absolutely should consider! a single plant is often enough to produce enough of a single vegetable for a family for a while. This will help with the continuing rise of food costs- my grocery bill went up $100 in one week for the same staple groceries- and it helps the environment by inviting bees and helps cleanse the air. You can even grow vegetables in containers on the porch if all you have is apartment patio space. Some also have tool libraries, or professional services like resume writing help, and can help you get linked up with any kind of paperwork that you may need like FAFSA paperwork, IRS paperwork, etc. Copy machine copies are also inexpensive at the library. If you need to print several things and you don't have a printer, or want to use your costly ink, printing at the library is an affordable option. 

4. Remember- It's Free to Go Outside

Yeah, I said it. If you want a vacation- go camping. Need to get away, go for a hike. The outdoors is free. As a new poor person, you'll soon learn that the best things in life ARE actually free. Nobody can take away the sunset from a mountain top from you, nothing beats the freeing feeling of sleeping under the stars. Go on an adventure. If you don't think that you're ready to start climbing mountains and sleeping in the wilderness, then maybe start small and spend the day at the river. Go for a lazy float with some music, Go lay on a smooth rock and get some sun like a lizard. Throw a stick for your dog. Sometimes getting back to nature and getting in tune with ourselves is exactly what our soul needs, even if we have to get there begrudgingly. Also, while you're outside, scream. Scream really damn loud, it will make you feel infinitely better to get all of your frustrations out if you just reach down to the soles of your feet and really let it all out. 

5. Don't Take Advise From Non-Poor People About How To Live This Life-

I say this with the sincerest truth, don't listen to people that haven't or are not poor tell you how to live when you have nothing. They obviously don't know that being poor adds tax. The money isn't there to begin with, or to borrow from, and since everyone else we know is also likely poor too, there is nobody to borrow from. Don't take advise from the not-poor on how to live, you can't personal finance yourself out of inflation or having nothing to begin with. 

*Fun Fact* This is often how a republican is made. They often believe that if they're poor it's because they didn't work hard enough, enough jobs, hours, whatever as someone that's rich instead of looking at all the things that a rich person already had before they got richer. The belief that you can just save more, or rob Peter to pay Paul and Phil, will make you rich because you have more. No. Look at most of the republican states in America- they're the poorest in the nation, so; consider this to be sound advice.

6. Stagger Appointments-

Having to reschedule all the appointments because someone was covid exposed, or because someone's allergies might be Covid, or because you need a mental health day is annoying at best. If you have copays, it gets costly when you don't have that Child Tax Credit to help cushion the cost of glasses, braces, or whatever else you or your kid needs now. I have three boys. They are rough kids that take no shame or qualms with seeing their own blood, needing stitches, bone settings, or concussion therapy. The co-pays add up when you have multiple appointments. Staggering them is helpful in helping to stretch the budget some. Also, ask for any kind of financial assistance your doctor's office may offer. Some insurance companies will waive a co-pay fee if you've had so many of them as a curtesy. It never hurts to ask. 

7. Bartering Is Your Best Friend- 

Never discount what your time and skills are worth. Do you have a hobby that would be helpful to someone? Do you have a professional skill like being a public notary, attorney, or massage therapist? Do you need something that someone in your community or circle of people could offer you so that you get your needs met? Put it out there that you're willing to babysit someone's kids, run a meal to someone, sew on a kid's scout patches, professional housecleaning- whatever you do in exchange for something that you need. Before money was a common place item, this is how the world was ran. Helping each other is an effective means of making sure people's basic needs get met. Be a part of the solution. Often times we don't realize that we have valuable skills and things we can offer to others just by lending them our time. 

8. Get To Know Your Neighbors- Be Friends- 

I don't know about you, but where I live, in the "affluent ghetto" as it is often referred to- just a piece past "Felony Flatts" where everyone there has a prison record or is on the sex offender registry, and right before the homeless encampment, your neighbors are the best defense and security that you could have. I know you're probably thinking I'm crazy for including getting to know your neighbors in budgeting tips but I can tell you that my neighbors have helped me keep my security budget in check when they're chasing kids away from windows. They've helped keep my car insurance low when they are chasing people away from peeking in car windows. They've helped me immeasurably by passing on hand-me-down furniture, clothing, and toys to my kids that I couldn't afford. We've shared Costco bulk items that would have gone bad had we relied on our own kids to eat it all. And you know what the best security there possibly is for a neighborhood of any kind? Community. Those willing to sit out front and shoot the shit with each other, won't generally shoot the shit out of each other. 

I'm sure that there are many more things that could be added to this list of advice from the old poor. I'll add more when I think of them. Please leave your tips, too. 

Happy Cheese Lover's Day- Bless your Heart Church Extra Cheesy Mac Recipe

 Happy Cheese Lover's Day! I don't know about you but my house has never needed an excuse to eat cheese. In fact, it's one of the only few things that Tiny eats. Tiny is my allergy kiddo who basically needs his own bubble. He has a gagillion food allergies, environmental allergies, immune compromizations, and other things that he makes things a bit challenging sometimes to just make sure he lives. His oppositional defiance disorder, ADHD, and food allergies are constantly at odds with each other in some of the most extreme ways- like the kid practically has an eating disorder because of this shit combination. Because of his allergies, often times, basic foods have to be made from scratch. I do a lot of scratch cooking because he is allergic to soy, ALL the nuts, eggs, and because some nuts- like almonds, are in fruit families (apples) I have to be super careful of giving him too many things that contain apple concentrates or juice because he gets hives. -_- Like I said, it's a whole thing. 

As a typical five year old, Tiny loves mac n cheese. He can't really eat the Blue Box cheesy noodles often because it irritates his eczema. So, we make it from scratch. My favorite recipe is my Aunt Flora's. A born-again southern woman that is a fantastic cook. My aunt is VERY involved in her tiny, southern church. She attends every get-together, social, potluck, and service. There is a lot of food that goes around. A lot of mac n cheese specifically. This is my favorite recipe. I call it the "Bless your heart" extra cheesy mac because as someone that is NOT a southern nor baptist, "bless your heart, child. Here, have a helping to feed your soul," was a common phrase as another helping of something was heaped on a plate. 

Bless Your Heart Church Extra Cheesy Mac Recipe

You need:

• 1 can evaporated milk
• 1 16 oz bag of elbow macaroni 
• 1 8 oz package shredded mozerella
• 1 8 oz package shredded mild cheddar
• 2 eggs (ironically, Tiny can have eggs if it is cooked)
• Crispy onions
• Salt to taste
• pepper to taste
• 8 oz diced ham or Spam
• 1/2 onion, diced
• 1/2 green pepper, diced
• 1/2 red pepper, diced

Preheat oven to 350F 

Directions:

1. In a saucepan, sauté onion, and peppers with your ham or Spam. Salt and pepper to taste.
2. Place a medium size pot for boil on the stove. 
3. In a separate bowl, mix eggs and evaporated milk until the eggs are evenly distributed. 
4. In a second separate dish, combine your cheeses. Set aside.
5. Drain noodles. Place half the noodles in a 9x13 baking dish. Evenly distribute half the onion/ pepper/ ham mix. Add a layer of your cheese mix. 
6. Pour half of the milk/ egg mixture over your cheesy noodles. 
7. Continue to layer- noodles, sauté mixture, cheese, milk mixture until all in the pan. 
8. Top with a layer of crispy onion straws. 
9. Bake at 350-degrees for 45 minutes. 
10. Serve hot. 

This dish makes a LOT of mac and cheese. I had leftovers for three days. Largely because after I spent the time to make this, Tiny refused to eat dinner. 

Dollar Tree Lash Out Fake Eyelashes by Color Mates: Review

 I didn't always like fake eyelashes. In fact, I hated them because I couldn't figure out how the hell to get them to stay glued in place without a ton of swearing, getting glue everywhere and then I usually got pissed said, "fuck it. I'm done with this shit" and put mascara on anyway. 

When I had my accident in February 2019, I had a lot of vision issues, including Bell's Palsy which still comes and goes when it wants to. My neurological ophthalmologist prescribed an eyepatch. They aren't comfortable because most don't have the cone shape in the center so that your eye can comfortably move while it's not in use. Our eyes may be independent, but for the most our eyelids are not and so even if you can't see, or your eye isn't working, it still moves so that it can stay lubricated and in good physical repair. I hated patching because it doesn't allow this movement, and it caused a lot of headaches (until I made myself a really bitchin lace patch that doesn't work as well but looks cool,) so I learned to properly apply fake eyelashes. 

On bad vision days, which I still have every so often, I will wear double lashes on the same eye so that I don't have to worry about wearing my uncomfortable patch. It filters out more light than nothing, and looks a lot more normal, but isn't quite the best. But since I still have some vision in my eye, it works for me. 

I was not expecting much from these lashes when I picked them up on an end cap. They look every bit as fake as the ones that came on those creepy dolls from the 80's whose eyes moved when you shook them. Creepy AF but whatevs. When you're feeling creepy, by all means, creep on. I used the same KISS black tinted aloe lash glue I use to apply my more expensive lashes. The lashes are a bit more plastic feeling than I care for but it doesn't affect the way that they look. Once applied, they don't look as stiff as they feel, but they don't seem to have quite the same natural look as some of my more expensive lashes, but they weren't uncomfortable to wear. Because they feel more like nylon bristles from a toothbrush, they collect every bit of dust that floats in the air. I wore them for 10 hours overall. 

Overall, I give these Dollar Tree lashes a solid 7. I was able to comfortably wear them for 10 hours and they weren't heavy, didn't obscure my vision more so than it ever is, but I also don't feel bad about tossing them at the end of the day. 

This is Not Normal- Welcome to a New Year

 We made it another trip around the sun! I haven't quite figured out what that's going to mean for us this year, but this is not normal and we aren't gonna do this again for a third year. A third year of my kids wilting away inside the house because our idiot governor has said we have to wear masks inside and outside, we'll be fined for gathering in places, and there is no fun to be had EVER! There have been so many changes in life, for so many of us, that I thought that it was time to return to One Cheap Mother, largely because I've had to learn to be REAL CHEAP and thought maybe it could be helpful to some of y'all too. 

In trying to keep my head afloat the last two years, I've come to realize that writing helped keep me somewhat grounded. It helped me to get shit out of my head so that I don't have to make space for it in the long list of other things that still have to be dealt with, something that will constantly be a reminder as it loops through in my mental video of my check list. And if I'm being really real, writing things down gives me the space to work things out in my head and make sense of things, not that they always make sense, and be honest with whatever scary issue is at hand. Not to mention the actual remembering part. 

Like many of you, my main income, which has always come from doing street fairs, bazaars, and farmer's markets primarily as well as my website, were dashed with the unavailability of public gatherings. I feel like I've lived a constant episode of "Friends" when Ross, Rachel, and Chandler are trying to move the couch up the stairs. I have pivoted so many times the last couple years, between how to make money, how to become a teacher, how to make my special needs kids keep masks on, how to get school to respect their special needs in regard to their abilities in what they can do in school that isn't  at their grade level, getting my car registered, even some of the simplest things that you wouldn't think of have become a HUGE complication. So many changes- especially to my income and how I'm able to earn it, that like many, I often wonder now I'm going to make ends meet, which bills I can eliminate, or pay later if I pay it late, it's a dumpster fire. 

The last couple years I've also learned a lot about myself, my kids, and our likes and dislikes. We've grown as people- as one hopes to when you're forced to spend immense time with yourself when you're not used to. We learned what matters most to our hearts, that when your houseplants die, sometimes you can revive them, and that not everyone that we thought were friends, were only acquaintances that wanted to feel a bit more important or better people to us than they truly were. 

So, to say that I've learned to live cheaper than I was before, is the understatement of a century. I've learned to love deeper, and bigger, and the love you get isn't always equal to the love you give- and it's okay to be disappointed with that. "No" should be your favorite word and you should use it often. And that just because you're broke doesn't mean that you still can't have fun. I've learned to accept that I AM a hot mess. But I'm a fun hot mess, and I'll teach you to be a fun hot mess, too.